Best Friend Taking the Place of my Boyfriend?

[LoadedDice]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months because... I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyways the day after I felt pretty down so I spent my day with my assorted guy friends. One of them I spent a few hours with curling up on his couch, eating his Halloween chocolate, flirting and cuddling.

But later I hung out with another close friend, he dropped his plans, his money and seven hours and devoted them to making me happy. We didn't do much, we chatted, joked, he bought me the birthday present he owed me, for most of it we just sat on his bed, drinking cola talking about everything and anything.

I helped him through a similar thing a year ago. I kept hugging him, he helped me so much, but I felt this sort of attraction to him that I'd never experienced in our 2 years of friendship. He's an ex of a friend of mine and the last thing I want to do is ruin the friendships I have with either of them.

I think maybe because I was vulnerable and newly single and he was giving me this amount of attention that's where this may have come from. Is that a possibility? Maybe it was just seeing this side of him spurted the attraction? Do you think it will pass? What should I do?

[RestlessMind]

It is very well a possibility that you only had those feelings because you were vulnerable and he was there for you. It may pass. It may not. If it doesn't, then I would give it deeper thought to see if you actually have feelings towards this guy. It may also be possible that you have just reached a new level of your friendship with him as well.

I like to think there are different levels of friendship and none of them are bad they are just how close and deep you can get with your friends. It always seems to happen all at once when you "break a barrier" into the next realm of friendship. This may definitely be the case as well.

Just give it some time, and not TOO much thought!

[And?]

Sounds like you know what's going on already, to be honest. It's important, for any meaningful relationship to develop, that you don't rush. Give yourself time, if you move on quickly, congratulations , if you don't actually have feelings for him, enjoy the new found closeness you have as friends anyway .

[LoadedDice]

I know a big part of this is something I need to figure out for myself but if I DO have feelings for him I'm scared that it could ruin our friendship or even the friendship I have with his ex, with whom I'm also very close.

[cody15]

As you said, it is a difficult thing to decide what to do, but give it time and see what happens, just don’t rush it.