Where to begin?

[prometheus92]

Hi,

I'm 17 and a senior at my high school. I've never had a girlfriend in my years, but I have had the opportunity to have one, but I ended up blowing it each time. I'm pretty overweight for my size, i'm 205 standing 5' 10". I used to play football, but quit after 9th grade. In 10th I was 220 and no muscle. For reasons I can't explain, i dropped 15 pounds March of last year. So, as you can expect, I am still no muscular man but I'm working on it. I've improved a lot since 10th and 11th grade going into this year as far as being toned (well, at least the results are observable in the upper body). Starting in 11th grade, as far as style is concerned, I finally got it rolling and I got a car recently.

To be blunt, I have no confidence around girls that I like because of my physique. In 9th grade a girl gave me her phone number and asked me to hang out with her but I couldn't for two reasons: 1) I thought she was out of my league and 2) I was fat to the point of discouragement.

My weight still discourages me, but I'm starting to get it under control as aforementioned. My friends tell me I definitely have the personality to get a girlfriend, but and I think so too. I'm now pretty much pinned as the 'greatest personality without a girlfriend' amongst my friends. Always talk about how I will get a girlfriend eventually, how they'll hook me up, etc.

The thing is that I have a pretty good inkling that a girl may like me. She sits near me in one of my classes and we talk every day. Around her, I act really chill and crack jokes most of the time. Shes very pretty and she has a really chilled out personality, like me but shes a bit of a perfectionist in her work at school. She laughs at just about every other thing I say. When I glance across the room to take notes or something, shes staring in my direction and I see it out of the corner of my eye (no, the board is in no general direction of where she was looking at). When I look back she sort-of covers her face or looks away. I offered help on a project I completed before and she said that some help would be nice. I'm not sure how to take all of this together? Does she dig me at all?

She does have a boyfriend, and that's pretty much the only thing stopping me from taking the next step.

But this is where my dilemma really begins. I'm clueless as to what to do. If I do want to hang out with her, what do I ask to do? I'm not sure if shes the movie type or if she just wants to chill at the mall or what.

How do I act around her when I talk to her and it's just me and her? How do I respond to text messages if she sends them to me? What is by-definition 'flirting', and I'm not sure if I even do it at all or how to do it? When would be the appropriate time to ask her out?

As you can tell, I have hundreds of questions buzzing through my mind, and I simply do not know where to begin.

Any advice would be great; if you are willing to lend a voice I will gladly lend an ear.

Thanks

[Angel Down]

Originally Posted by prometheus92

The thing is that I have a pretty good inkling that a girl may like me. She sits near me in one of my classes and we talk every day. Around her, I act really chill and crack jokes most of the time. Shes very pretty and she has a really chilled out personality, like me but shes a bit of a perfectionist in her work at school. She laughs at just about every other thing I say. When I glance across the room to take notes or something, shes staring in my direction and I see it out of the corner of my eye (no, the board is in no general direction of where she was looking at). When I look back she sort-of covers her face or looks away. I offered help on a project I completed before and she said that some help would be nice. I'm not sure how to take all of this together? Does she dig me at all?

Those things alone don't mean much, but it's definitely possible. If she laughs at your jokes too much that's a good sign.

She does have a boyfriend, and that's pretty much the only thing stopping me from taking the next step.

Red flag. Don't "steal" her. It's a pretty low move, and besides, how will you trust her around other guys if she's willing to ditch her bf for you?

If I do want to hang out with her, what do I ask to do? I'm not sure if shes the movie type or if she just wants to chill at the mall or what.

Ask her. "So what do you do for fun?"

How do I act around her when I talk to her and it's just me and her?

Like you would around anyone else if you were alone together.

How do I respond to text messages if she sends them to me?

Just like you would in a normal conversation. Don't overthink this.

When would be the appropriate time to ask her out?

When she's single.

[loganjlr]

Originally Posted by prometheus92

Hi,

I'm 17 and a senior at my high school. I've never had a girlfriend in my years, but I have had the opportunity to have one, but I ended up blowing it each time. I'm pretty overweight for my size, i'm 205 standing 5' 10". I used to play football, but quit after 9th grade. In 10th I was 220 and no muscle. For reasons I can't explain, i dropped 15 pounds March of last year. So, as you can expect, I am still no muscular man but I'm working on it. I've improved a lot since 10th and 11th grade going into this year as far as being toned (well, at least the results are observable in the upper body). Starting in 11th grade, as far as style is concerned, I finally got it rolling and I got a car recently.

To be blunt, I have no confidence around girls that I like because of my physique. In 9th grade a girl gave me her phone number and asked me to hang out with her but I couldn't for two reasons: 1) I thought she was out of my league and 2) I was fat to the point of discouragement.

My weight still discourages me, but I'm starting to get it under control as aforementioned. My friends tell me I definitely have the personality to get a girlfriend, but and I think so too. I'm now pretty much pinned as the 'greatest personality without a girlfriend' amongst my friends. Always talk about how I will get a girlfriend eventually, how they'll hook me up, etc.

The thing is that I have a pretty good inkling that a girl may like me. She sits near me in one of my classes and we talk every day. Around her, I act really chill and crack jokes most of the time. Shes very pretty and she has a really chilled out personality, like me but shes a bit of a perfectionist in her work at school. She laughs at just about every other thing I say. When I glance across the room to take notes or something, shes staring in my direction and I see it out of the corner of my eye (no, the board is in no general direction of where she was looking at). When I look back she sort-of covers her face or looks away. I offered help on a project I completed before and she said that some help would be nice. I'm not sure how to take all of this together? Does she dig me at all?

She does have a boyfriend, and that's pretty much the only thing stopping me from taking the next step.

But this is where my dilemma really begins. I'm clueless as to what to do. If I do want to hang out with her, what do I ask to do? I'm not sure if shes the movie type or if she just wants to chill at the mall or what.

How do I act around her when I talk to her and it's just me and her? How do I respond to text messages if she sends them to me? What is by-definition 'flirting', and I'm not sure if I even do it at all or how to do it? When would be the appropriate time to ask her out?

As you can tell, I have hundreds of questions buzzing through my mind, and I simply do not know where to begin.

Any advice would be great; if you are willing to lend a voice I will gladly lend an ear.

Thanks

When it comes to my two cents on that first girl you talked about, how you thought, "she was out of your league," it's a high possibility that you could of made something out of that. Even though that was a lost opportunity, I understand were your coming from since I was a very overweight person a year or two ago. Regarding the girl your discussing in present tense, I assume you should take this with caution. There is a possibility she may like you, but there's also the possibility that she's a very friendly person. That can happen with both genders. The reason I heed you with caution, is because you mentioned she has a boyfriend. Take it easy, test the waters abit and try to be friendly with her. When it's just you and her, act like you act around your friends, be yourself. If everyone says you have an awesome personality, use it to your advantage. Make her laugh a little bit, etc. On the terms of flirting, it the response your going to get and the "vibes" your going to receive from others will vary greatly. In the terms of flirting, use your antennas. Sense her out. When I mean by varied response and vibes, if someone is playful to everyone and anyone, including you, you may think it's flirting, but it could possibly mean it's just her personality. See what I mean? it's hard to explain. Lastly, on the terms of asking her to hang out, just ask her if you want to go to the mall sometime, or if you want to hang out at her place or the park. It really isn't that hard when you make that jump, and when you mention casual places like that, she won't perceive it as trying to coerce her. To make it less uncomfortable, bring a friend, or maybe ask her if she can bring a friend. Well hope I helped, I apologize for the length of this post.

[prometheus92]

Thanks guys! I appreciate the responses

[Sole]

You know you are confusing yourself I think. Think simple. Look below -

Originally Posted by prometheus92

She laughs at just about every other thing I say.

Originally Posted by prometheus92

How do I act around her when I talk to her and it's just me and her?

Just say more of the same shit you do that makes her laugh. I mean, why change what works right?

As for flirting. This is all you need to know. Sex + humour. Turn your conversation sexual with her and badabing, jobs done. If she is into you, she will flirt back, (sex talk) back.

SOLE HOW MUCH SEX TALK? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WON'T IT BE CREEPY?

Look, the word for the day is "normal". Don't go overboard with "I want to rape you anally", just do it nice and sexy, flirtly etc.

RIGHT NOW, WHAT YOU WHAT YOU THINK FLIRTING IS...IT IS.