No Direction.

[C'est la Vie]

My life is at a complete stand-still. To make a long story short: I'm struggling heavily with internalized homophobia. I came out to my parents and friends, both of whom took the news very well.... but I can't deal with it personally. It's such a bother, I literally hate my very being and existence.

I've dropped out of school at this point in time, because I just can't focus on school work (again, don't know what I want to do). I have plans to re-enroll once I have my head back on my shoulders. But there's just so much going on. My parents and I have discussed the possibility of a treatment center.

But I don't know of any that deal with these issues, while allowing luxuries like cell-phones, private rooms w/ locks, and the right to self-administer medication when I feel it's appropriate, and to be able to go for a walk if I fucking feel like it.

Pretty much what I'm looking for is a stay at the Holiday Inn with scheduled individual and group therapy sessions to work through my problems in a stress-free environment. Does anyone know of any centers that provide this sort of service?

I was recently Baker-Acted (Florida's Psychiatric Detainment 72hr. Act), because while intoxicated, I threatened to kill myself. Other than the rigidness of the environment, the 50 some odd hrs. I spent detained, I actually did get some thinking done... and I miss having that time, so that I may delve deeper into who I am, who I want to be, and what I'm capable of. Idk.. I just feel completely lost.