old rough draft *eyeroll*

[tucker!]

Okay, so about a year ago, I had this idea for a book about a man who was a really strong and independent Christian his whole life, but then through a series of traumatic and life-changing experiences, his faith begins to fall apart. So I guess I wrote kind of a really short rough draft of a chapter one. And now I'm going to share it with you.

"I'm sorry, young man," said the man sitting behind the desk, "but as a rule, we don't hire anyone without at least an eighth grade education."
"But you're my only hope! I've looked everywhere for a job and no one will hire me."
"There's nothing I can do for you. I'm sorry. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got important things to do."
"But this is important!"
"Not to me. Now I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Jacob stared at the man in helpless disbelief. How was he going to live? He had no money, no food, no shelter, and no one would give him a job. And he was only sixteen. Maybe I should have stayed at the orphanage, he thought. He hoped against hope that God had a plan...
"Please," said the man impatiently.
"Oh! S-sorry," said Jacob. He walked out of the office and quickly closed the door behind him.
As he stepped out onto the sidewalk, he was hit with a bitterly cold gust of wind. He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to think of how much colder it could get at night. He sat down in the grass and opened his Bible. "He will cover you with his feathers," he read aloud, "and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."
Just then someone shouted "shut up, Jesus freak," and kicked him in the shin. He looked up to see who kicked him but instead his attention was caught by a dove flying over him. This must be another sign he thought, and immediately he jumped up, Bible in hand, and ran after it.
He must have been running for at least half an hour, going as fast as his legs could carry him. He was about ready to collapse on the greasy asphalt beneath him and give up when the bird finally came to rest on the top of a nondescript, depressing old white building. HOUSTON SHELTER FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE was spelled out in big red letters over the entrance. Jacob felt a spark of hope inside him, but almost immediately it was cruelly beat to death by the small white sign on the other side of the glass window that simply read, "no vacancy". That was it. Defeated, he slumped down against the wall and started to cry. The only thing that kept him breathing was that he knew God would take care of it all, he would be fine. He was so tired... tired... No! He couldn't let himself fall asleep! It was below freezing outside, and he wasn't ready to die just yet. God still had plans for him, he just knew it. So he wasn't going to sleep until he could find a nice warm place. He would just rest his eyes for a minute or two... but not sleep... just rest... rest...

He saw the flames, the bright orange, hungry tendrils, the crushing fingers that devoured the house. They had haunted him every night now for four years, and every night he had felt guilty. He knew he should have been in there along with everyone else, but instead he was standing out on the lawn watching his whole world go up in flames. But this time it felt different... something was terribly wrong. He heard voices screaming his name in panic, searching, searching. He was the reason they were still in there, they couldn't leave him to die. He could hear them all: his mother, his father, his older brother... and... and...
"Jacob!"
...Beth?
"Jacob!!"
Beth?
"JACOB!"
He was jerked from his sleep and awoke to the sight a familiar face streaked with tears.
"Oh, thank God, Jacob, I thought you were dead!"
"Beth!"

A bit obscure but at the same time very explicit with so much foreshadowing that it is no longer is foreshadowing, in my opinion.

Thoughts?