a horrible situation

[Curious Strange]

I'm keeping this short because I have to go to sleep soon.

So through a string of events I was indirectly asked by a male friend if I would go out with him (we both knew that the other was gay). I said no (I wasn't interested in him as a boyfriend, just as a really good friend), and ever since then (it's been 3 days) he's been very...unresponsive, almost avoiding me. It seems very awkward, and I don't know why. I smile and wave at him in the hallway like I did before he asked me, he just looks at me and keeps walking. I make a comment towards him in class, he doens't say anything. Even when he's not talking to me, he now seems more distant to everyone. Could he have just been seeking a relationship with me the whole time we were friends? Or is something else going on? I'm really confused, what should I say to him? I just want to be good friends with him, nothing more..if he can't understand or can't want that too..well I'd just be plain sad.

[Emperor]

Well bucko, very similarly to how it can get awkward between heterosexual couples post-date-attempt, it can get awkward between two people of homosexual orientation to continue the facade of friendship. It's difficult to tell if he was head-over-heels for you, and if so, that could very well be the problem. It's also problematic that gays naturally have a more difficult time finding other gays, so perhaps there is a slight level of anger there? Either way, it's difficult for people sometimes after being rejected. Not to say you should have said yes, because you can't make something if there's nothing there, but he could very well be mad at you.

[BanMe]

I think maybe since you guys were such good friends, he started to really like you. When he asked you that question, and you said no, that must have really been a big blow to the stomach. He's probably real shy about it now to.

[Bls752]

He probabley really really liked, you. So he might become distant because he maybe thinking that you want nothing to do with him, so the best thing to do is to just sit down with him and talk. Talk about why is he so distant. If he says that he likes you just tell him, that you see him as a friend. Just don't overly stress that you see him as a friend, because he could find that annoying.

[Speedo Rick]

Well he's probably hurt, pissed and embarrassed. Give him a week or so and do your best to talk with him afterwords. If you are mad at someone you don't want to talk with them right away do you? Just give him some time.

[Mr.Scientist]

It might seem like he was interested in you as more than a friend and he may feel hurt that you did not want to date him or anything of the sort.

The best thing to do now would be to heal the scars that have been created. Try and talk to him in any way possible. I would think that keeping some distance from him would be wise at this time in order to not upset him, but talking to him over the phone or through texting and explaining why you chose to reject him is very important. The sooner the better as it may cost you not to do anything about it. Also, give him a chance to explain his side of the story as well. Above all, be positive. If he simply chooses not to want to talk to you anymore, move on as he would not be worth your time anymore.

[Luke]

>> Love and Dating >>

Just because it involves two guys, doesn't mean it isn't primarily a relationship issue.

I would say he's either hurt by the rejection, or embarrassed by it. Either way, give him some time to get over it, and as long as you're acting completely normal, he should start acting normal too.

[The Mysoginator]

Originally Posted by Luke

I would say he's either hurt by the rejection, or embarrassed by it. Either way, give him some time to get over it, and as long as you're acting completely normal, he should start acting normal too.

Luke's nailed it. Just give it some time and he'll either get over it or he wont. I realise I've got a bad case of statingtheobviousitis but there's really nothing for you to do here. You were honest with him and he probably just needs some time to get used being around you again now that the boundaries of your friendship have been moved from where he thought they were.