hate life need to know how to end it

[andrew lucas]

everything good that ever happens to me, i fuck up what i have turns into what i had everything i can have turns into everything i cant have..

everything in my life falls apart one way or another i wish i could just not have been here so that way this wouldnt have to make things so hard on my family..especially my mom but i cant deal with it no more

ive always been depressed noone knows noone will know

i live with my mom, my dad i see 3-4 times a year probably doesnt care if im living..i have maybe 3 or 4 family members active in my life my grandpa is turning into an alchoholic because of my aunt who ruined his life the only person in my life who actaully loves me is my mom. my cousin..my best friend till i was 13 im 15 now. he was 15 at the time told me november 13, 2007 he was going to kill himself, i had the chance to stop it i had the chance to tell someone late november 14 the next day my mom tells me my cousin steven hung himself it tears me apart everyday

the one girl i loved and saw everyday for 7 months moved. its funny how things can change from me seeing her and being in my life everyday literally EVERYDAY for 7 months to not seeing her once in a year and a half. talking to her once every few weeks realising how much more and more we both continue to change. ontop of that she makes me very sad telling me about how her life is falling apart aswell

you can say that theres more then just a girlfriend but im pretty sure its love when you just get that feeling where everything feels right..and then im stillin deeply in love with her when shes been gone longer then she was with me..

friends, i have lots but i feel theyre my friends only because they are there ..here in the same place as me. i feel like i dont belong where i belong like i should be somewhere else

i dont experience happiness the happiness i get is thinking about how everything once was which turns to sadness, the future scares me im scared to live day by day when i go to bed i always just pray i can wake up back a few years a different time not where i am right now as your reading this your probably not thinking much maybe even thinking this is exaterated but if you could just feel the pain i feel..feel how good it feels to just let it out

all i want to do is die but i have consideration for my mom how should i let her know in my letter what is a MUST include..i mean i fucked my moms whole life up by being born..and yet she still loves me, but everyday im an asshole to her and i cant control it and i hate it


i just dont wanna live but i want to die in a peaceful way and i want to let everyone know how i feel.

how is the most unpainful way to kill yourself? (if you dont wanto tell me just do, theres no need for advice i just want to get it over with tonight..

[DT3829]

I WILL NOT tell how to end ur now or ever
there ppl who care about wheether u know or not
that lots and lots of misfortunes and a lot troulesome things you have had to deal with
does anyone know u feel like this at all?
go ralk someone asap whether u know them, just have some to talk and listen to u
?
a death of a person in life is tough to deal with, but i think suicide rpobably one the hardest for ppl to deal with

PLEASE DDONT D IT DONT DO IT

[El Badass]

People care about you! It may not feel or seem like it but they do. What I just read deeply impacted me and I can honestly say that I care about you just from this.

Please please don't kill yourself!!!! I can't stress that enough. It may seem like the easy way out now but you are tuff to have been what you have been through. You have to be strong and keep going. Keep living! You only get one chance at life don't end it before it's started. Tou have sooo much time left.

Your life will get better I promise. You just have to start having a positive out look on things which my seem impossible at the moment but you can do it.

Also you need to talk to someone about this whether it be a good friend your mom a counsiler would be best but don't give up.

I'm pooring my heart and soul out to you. STAY STRONG!! You can get through this I know it

[charlisangel]

Dude hang it there, things will get better. One day you're gonna look back at this and say im glad im still here.
People do care for you, at least just dont do for your mom who will love you no matter what and how she will be left with nothing. You need to talk to someone , anyone.

I ask you to not end your life, things WILL get better , theyre so much to live for.

[Rombishead]

Dude like everyone else I can't stress how important it is not to go down this route. I was there once aswell asking myself the same thing. My girlfriend left me, I was hated at school, my dad was drunk 24/7 the only person who I could talk to was my mum. I realy cared for her much like you do your. And she saw me going to do it and stopped me. Thank god my life has gotten so much better after I told her how I felt, just please don't do anything. Tell your mum go to some kind concleor or something they can help! You have so much ore to live for. Please dont do it.

[DT3829]

to andrew lucas
are u still feeling that bad?have u talked to any1?

[tucker!]

I have been in an emotional situation very similar to yours, and survived. And all I can say to you is, please get some help. In my opinion and according to everyone else I've discussed it with, therapy doesn't help. But there are many other ways you can seek comfort and advice.
It seems like you have a very close relationship with your mom, no matter how bad you tell yourself that you're messing it up. According to what you have said, if there were one person who you could talk to about this problem, it would be her. Sit down with her and be straightforward about everything that you're dealing with. I'm sure she would be glad to help.
Another thing I would suggest would be to get professional help. I know that I said that I don't believe in therapy, and by extension most psychologists. But what can make a major improvement in your situation is psychiatric help. In other words, a doctor. Medication can really help. In addition, if you are abusing or overdosing on medication you are already taking, STOP. This includes taking medication that isn't prescribed to you.
Another thing that doesn't necessarily work for everyone, but really helped me in recovery, is a spiritual belief or interest. This doesn't necessarily mean adherence to a religion, or even a belief in god(s). It is simply a basic opinion or general interest about the divine, the spiritual, and the metaphysical, as you interpret it. In the end, you are really the only one who determines what you learn and what you believe about spirituality. Unfortunately, spiritual epiphany isn't something that can be experienced secondhand. I would suggest trying meditation, guided at first and then on your own as you begin to trust yourself not to dwell on negative things.
I really, really hope that you haven't ended your life already. And I hope even more that I have helped your situation. Please try to pull through as best as you can, and listen to any positive advice that you get. Because, when you finally get through it all, life is so much better.

[3rd Rail]

NEVER will I tell you how to kill yourself. What do you want to achieve? Hurt those around you more then you could alive? Think about how you felt when your cousin died. I don't care how shitty a life you have, you can always turn it around. but beyond all that, do not kill yourself. It won't solve anything, the only way to solve your problems is to work at them. Just try to work them out. People love you, don't dissapoint them.

Seek medical help, really, they can be lifesavers. Don't follow in the footseps of your cousin, live your life to the best of your abilities, don't let yourself die in such a bad state.

[kdee]

you can say that theres more then just a girlfriend but im pretty sure its love when you just get that feeling where everything feels right..and then im stillin deeply in love with her when shes been gone longer then she was with me..

But, see you must also step back and look at this somewhat objectively, as well: Suppose you had never met her in the first place. Would you be sad about her leaving then right now? No. Unfortunately, you made the common human mistake of simply putting all of your purpose and passion into this single relationship, only to be crushed later on when it simply couldn't last forever.

all i want to do is die but i have consideration for my mom how should i let her know in my letter what is a MUST include..i mean i fucked my moms whole life up by being born..and yet she still loves me, but everyday im an asshole to her and i cant control it and i hate it

Think about your logic here: You claim to have consideration for your mother's feelings, and yet you somehow think that you will be "considerate" towards here by giving her yet another problem in here life. You can't fix a problem by trying to make it exponentially worse. That just doesn't do a whole lot. Nor does it make a lick of sense from anyone's perspective.

i just dont wanna live but i want to die in a peaceful way and i want to let everyone know how i feel.

The most efficient non-natural form of death is actually tax-payer subsidized. It would involve you first moving to a nearby state that has the death penalty........

Honestly, I don't make a principle of trying to get people to make decisions I personally agree with. It's your life. Knock yourself out (whoa. Dark pun detected...).. But honestly, at your age, I find it hard to believe that you have any justifiable reason to go that far. Seriously, life is going to get a lot worse for you as you get older. One day, you will be out fending for yourself, and Mom won't be there to protect you from pain, grief, let-downs, or disappointments.

SO, you have two options: Take the pain, feel the sting, and then be made a little bit stronger/resilient for it. Or you can just run off a cliff. This is not a matter of what you are capable of handling. It's a matter of "Will you allow yourself to grow?" Growing hurts. Running off a cliff hurts more --- and this would be especially true for the people that stood behind you your whole life and trusted that their investment in raising you was not going to be suddenly and wantonly thrown out the window by some act of hormonally-charged decision making.

[tucker!]

Suicide is never justifiable to anyone except those who are thinking about it, kdee. I don't think rationalizing everything for him is going to help at this point. He is beyond rationalization, and what he needs now is some emotional support and positive encouragement. Honestly, after such an over-rationalizing and belittling response, I hope he is still with us...

Are you still here, Andrew?

[Hellbreaker]

killing yourself won't solve nothing. it won't solve your problems, it won't bring your cousin back to life and it won't make your parents be togheter again.
you are in that part of your life when you see a mountain and don't know how to climb it.
life is full of goods and bads, but mostly of bads, but you have to keep strong.

[justaguy3]

There is no way to kill yourself without alot of pain I have already tried finding out painless ways and there are none so don`t bother.

Your story is pretty similar to mine =/

[Luke]

The OP hasn't been on since the day after this thread was posted.

Can I just say I sincerely hope this guy is okay, and hasn't done anything drastic.

Andrew, if you come back to gov, please feel free to PM me about any troubles you may have.