Mom, dad, you're the reason I cut myself

[Nuclear Kiwi]

Mom, dad, you're the reason I cut myself and you don't even now. I mean, I never told you, but you'd think any parents with half a brain would figure what you two are doing is driving me insane. maybe if you two were capable of listening to anything but me praising you I wouldn't have to communicate with all these sharp objects. I couldn't even tell you, you'd think I was doing it to hurt you and you wouldn't help at all. You would be unhappy with me for needing you to help me.

Mom: you are a drain, you ask for so much more than I can give. You're angry and you make me feel responsible for what you feel (ever since I was little) and you are never there for me. I'd say you have no idea what it's like to play the emotional role of a parent when you are the child, but I know you do. I do have to ask why you find it fitting to inflict that on me too? You always share everything that makes you angry or sad or upset and I have to fix it because that's just what I have been doing ever since I was little. You never did that for me, and I'm pretty sure I could have used it.

Dad: you're just as bad, but for different reasons. I am not your mother. I am not your mother. I am not your mother. Please stop seeing me as that psycho woman. Don't yell at me for all the things she did to you like I was the person doing them. Don't seek my approval in place of the approval she never gave you as a child. I can't be her and I would never want to. I can't handle how you go from normal (or as close as you get to normal) to evil a second. Worse is how in a few minutes, hours, days you will expect me to forgive you. That works to a point, but it's a pattern ingrained in even my earliest memories.

Really, you both suck and you will never know because you could never accept that. I hate you both and I know it's mean to say I hope you die, but you're killing me, so burn in hell; you fail as parents.

I'm really glad i got a chance to release that, even if only into the vastness that is cyberspace.

[Braxton]

First and foremost, I am sorry about your situation, and it is frustrating as anything when parents do not act like adults. The following thread from the Content Forum might be of use to you: http://forums.govteen.com/showthread.php?t=234397 Also, you might want to call the cutting helpline located from the following thread from the Depression Forum: http://forums.govteen.com/showthread.php?t=164534

I think it is good that you are venting, but my strong suggestion is to seek help as well as develop an emotional support structure with responsible independent of your parents. Also, if you can, then see if you can crash with some sane relatives or friends when your parents are getting bad so that you will not cut yourself.

I sincerely hope things work out for you.

[Nuclear Kiwi]

Thanks for the response, but the cutting helpline redirects you to the website of the counseling service of the corporation owning the line. Yeah, venting is good, but I mean, it seems the consensus for what to do immediately if a minor self-harms is send them away, which won't help at all...
Thanks I do to.

[phantasmagoria]

I, too was a cutter.
I sometimes feel the urge, but I wear rubberbands that I snap on my wrists - and it sorta brings me back to reality.

I'm sorry about the relationship with your parents though =/

[Braxton]

Originally Posted by Nuclear Kiwi

Thanks for the response, but the cutting helpline redirects you to the website of the counseling service of the corporation owning the line. Yeah, venting is good, but I mean, it seems the consensus for what to do immediately if a minor self-harms is send them away, which won't help at all...
Thanks I do to.

That is very interesting about what you had mentioned about the cutting telephone line, and if you did not find it helpful at all, then it would be good if you can PM a moderator in the Depression section to let them know so that they can update that thread accordingly. Feedback from folks like you are really important so that information around here is current.

I found something from the Health and Human Services website which might be a start for you: http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind...RelatedArticle and http://vsearch.nlm.nih.gov/vivisimo/cgi-bin/query-meta?v%3afile=viv_PFJTXG&server=search2.nlm.nih.gov&v%3astate=root%7croot&url=http%3a%2f%2fwww.mayoclinic.com%2fprint%2fself-injury%2fDS00775%2fDSECTION%3dall%26METHOD%3dprint&rid=Ndoc4&v%3aframe=redirect&

Todd mentioned a very good idea above about rubberbands, and I do recall another user around here who did that to avoid cutting.

Well, the fact that you are making a thread around here means that you want to stop your pain, and there are a lot of folks around here who might offer you some good advice. You might also want to go through the Content Forums as it does have some good articles, too, which might assist you.

[just123]

Nuclear Kiwi, i really feel for you. your story makes me sad, my parents are very caring for me.

you can come live with m lol

but please stop hurting yourself.

[Murcielago]

You have a lot of emotion you need to get out, I had a friend, she did a lot of self harm, one day she cut her jugular because cutting didn't work any more, she didn't feel anything. She was 13 and she died because no one ever said "Hi" to her other than me, her mom was never there and her dad abused her. I heard two girls saying how nobody cared she died, AT HER MEMORIAL, and I went off on them. I was her only real friend and I felt bad she died. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. So please, for me and Anne both, please stop cutting yourself, it won't solve anything. Take up kick boxing or something to get the emotion out, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop hurting yourself...