Experimentation - what can happen.

[Eltacosbello]

Original Situation

Okay... I really don't know how to ask this question without going a little into the detail about my situation, so sorry if it offends. Her I go;

Me and my friend, who I've known since fourth grade, started acting curiously with each other and we moved to repetitive mutual masturbation for like a year. I'll just say after that we have moved it to every limit... So, we have been doing all sorts of "things" to each other for about 2-3 years now. I don't really have a problem with it and we both enjoy it. However, I felt kinda betrayed when he recently started dating a girl. So, I played it cool and still hanged out with him... but he still wanted to do things. I gave into him... but now I'm starting to regret it. I felt like I was letting him cheat on his girlfriend, we haven't done anything for like a week and I'm not sure if I want to. Also, I wonder if I should tell him if I like him more than just a "play pal." Adding to all this... I'm worried that me and him might not be friends after all this if he doesn't like me in a romantic way??? ugh... HELP!

Do you guys have any advise?
(again i'm sorry for making the question so personal)

I want him to chose between me and her essentially... and if he does chose her if he's willing to be non-sexual friends with me. I do like him romantically but I can't force it on him, I can only let him chose.

Experimentation- The things I have talked and learned about through experimentation with him are priceless. I would do this all over again because me and him have had a blast growing up together. Many condemn experimentation, but I'd like to think in the future it will lead those people to a balanced life not about sex but with sex.

What happened after we spoke.

YES!!! He said he likes me romantically too, just he was too afraid to say anything becuase he thought I wouldn't like him romantically. We talked about everything today for like a hour and a half. So, he let his girlfriend down gently today... I didn't hear what he said to her as I didn't think it was my business. But I know that they are broken up and me and Alex are together, are first official date is Sunday

[custodis]

Wow. Congratulations. No offence, but this is kind of shocking to me. It doesn't seem to happen very often, but i'm happy that it happened for you. I'm actually somewhat jealous to be honest, being able to be up front and honest with the person you love, and having it work out. It's an admirable thing to have done.

[Eltacosbello]

God... I'm the guy in the relationship, but I'm starting to tear up just thinking about him and how awesome this has worked out. (I wonder if sex will be better or worse because of this???)

[Jaden]

All i can say to this entire thread is wow, i wasn't expecting that coming...

Aaron, you're both brave for talking to him about it (i would have advised just stopping it if it were me, heh, good job you didn't go down that route it seems), and lucky that he did end up feeling the same way (again, i was expecting him to be straight and go with the gf).

[And?]

OK. Hopefully this all makes sense . That took a fuck load more work than I was anticipating.

Aaron, I'm glad things have worked out, and you'll probably find growing up together like this brings you closer together than a normal couple would be in the opening phases of your relationship. Whilst I don't normally approve of experimentation over such a long period of time, I guess yours is a testament to prove that:

A) It can work out.
B) If you experiment for a long time, someone, or both, end up harbouring real feelings.

I'm moving this to GBLTQ for discussion. Hopefully that's OK with you, Aaron, if you'd rather not (or if you're not coming back!) PM a H/A moderator.

Wooosh.

Edit: In case anyone from the original thread wants to get pissy with me for deleting the posts or anything, I didn't. If your post isn't here, it's still in the original thread, here.

[Josh]

Originally Posted by Eltacosbello

God... I'm the guy in the relationship, but I'm starting to tear up just thinking about him and how awesome this has worked out. (I wonder if sex will be better or worse because of this???)

It will be better without a doubt

[DoBesh]

Am I allowed to say 'meh'?
Meh.
I congratulate you with your new date, and I really hope you can have a healthy relationship, but I have my doubts. Your whole relationship is based on lust, I don't believe that's healthy. But I, again, wish you all the best and hope it works out.

[Josh]

Originally Posted by DoBesh

Am I allowed to say 'meh'?
Meh.
I congratulate you with your new date, and I really hope you can have a healthy relationship, but I have my doubts. Your whole relationship is based on lust, I don't believe that's healthy. But I, again, wish you all the best and hope it works out.

they have been close friends since 4th grade, I think there is more than lust

[DoBesh]

Errr yea. I guess you are right. It's just the whole thought of experimentation that disgusts me. But indeed, you can assume there's more than lust when they have been friends for so long. I actually don't have any good reasons to have my doubts apart from that I think it's the wrong order, but who am I to say that about other people...

And Josh, quite impressive you already lost count (signature) well done I guess

[SecularHumanist]

Mazel tov!

Rarely does anything really good come out of experimentation. You've broken the mold. I wish you two the best of luck.

[somedude]

does your friend's exgf know that she was dumped for you????
anyways congratz.

[xfactor347]

Originally Posted by somedude

does your friend's exgf know that she was dumped for you????

i dont think that she was told

[In Khast'meen]

Wow. I was expecting from the title a story thread saying "Never experiment, kids, it ruins your friendships", but this is a nice change from the normal stories about experimentation that you read.

Good luck to you two.

[Luke]

Congratulations and best of luck for the future!

I'm gonna leave this open for more "congrats" 'cause it's nice to have a success story once in a while

[Stoicism]

this is so inspiring. it makes me believe i can find someone out there also. make the best of this relationship! it's a rare oppurtunity.