i dont even know.

[ppllovethequiet]

This may come off as a rant, and i apologize for that in advance.

However, I just have not been feeling to great about anything lately. It seems like everything is crashing at once around me. I find myself crying randomly, and i feel like such an idiot whenever it happens.

I absolutely despise Florida, the people here just make my skin crawl. It just seems like since I've moved from Virginia I've fallen into some kind of rabbithole and nothing makes sense or has to. I don't know if I just miss my old friends in Virginia or the people down here really are just fake i don't know.

It just seems weird that as soon as I graduate my "best friend" decides to be a complete hermit and forget that we were friends. I see her now and she completely ignores me. I then became really good friends with this gay couple and they had their own fag hag and they made being a fourth wheel awkward, so I started being really good friends with this lesbian couple and I introduced them to each other and now I'm ditched again. They all moved in together and I hardly ever see any of them.

It doesn't help that my friends who live 30 minutes away are all moving on, forgetting about me, and not really wanting to hang out with me.

Then my mom lost her job and so she's been home a lot more and she keeps stressing me out. I have a part time job and i'm a full time student in college and everything is just going to shit. My work gives me all the shitty shifts and schedules me basically everyday in the week which prevents me from doing my homework. And my teachers seem to all be egomaniacs I literally have 24 essays due december 3rd for a single class.

It also doesnt help that I can't find a single decent boy down here, who's not a hoe, backstabber, or a plain creeper. I mean I don't consider my life valid if I have a boyfriend, its just nice to have that person I can always be around who likes to listen to me ramble and to just do things, and is less likely to leave me and move in with my friends and i never hear from them again.

However, the bright side is I'm leaving december 5th to visit my friends in Virginia, but its not coming soon enough.
I feel like i just sit at home and think of how amazing life would be if I never left Virginia, if I just stayed living with my dad. Everyday it just seems like i hate life more and more.
I wish I could get counseling but my mom doesn't really believe in therapy.

If you have no advice on how i could possibly get my life back together, it was nice of you to just listen/read. thank you.

[ohshit]

sounds rough man. i'd say try to make some new friends if you can, maybe see if you can get some free counseling through your school or something. try to get out there and do stuff instead of sitting around, it helps fight the depression.

take it easy man, one day at a time. it'll get better. good luck.

[Sic]

Yeah it's always tough when your friends are doing much better than you are. Been there. Mother's opinions or not, you're 18 and working. You can get yourself therapy if you want. I'm sure your school is also staffed with a very capable counseling department.

Did you consider maybe re-applying to schools back in VA? Maybe Florida just isn't the right place for you to be.

What made Virginia so much better? I'm from California so I don't know anything about East Coast culture and community. Your hermit-friend, has she actually become a recluse or has she just moved on to bigger and better fields?

If she's become a recluse right after graduation, I'd venture a guess that she's in a pretty similar position to you. She's probably seeing everyone else succeeding where she's failing, etc.

It's important for you to realize that you're not the only one feeling alone right now. You're not even the only one in your group of friends who's feeling somewhat abandoned, I'm sure. Take the initiative and MAKE your life better. Don't wait for everyone to come find you to cheer you up because it just doesn't work that way.

Hang in there, it gets better. Life just throws you curves from time to time.

[Tabula Rasa]

The shock of moving that far away from the place you grew up is definitely going to have some effects on you, so dare I say it, you're normal in regards to your depressive state.

Of course you're going to miss your old friends from Virginia, but that shouldn't stop you from putting yourself out there to meet new people. Don't look for people that could be considered "replacements" for you friends back home, someone whose comparable to your old best friends. Find new people and form different sorts of relationships. It'll be far more interesting to be around people who are "new" to you, and that won't constantly remind you of what you miss from Virginia.

If you're really having issues with the people in Florida right now, just immerse yourself in your schoolwork for now. You said yourself that you had loads of work to do, and you may as well get it done if you're not finding anything else to do. It would probably be easier when it comes to making new friends too, if you're less stressed from the work load you'll be more comfortable and less on edge.

Be glad you got the fuck out of Virginia. Life here makes me want to stick my head in the oven. Srsly.

[sbakerguy]

I know what you mean about everything falling in at once. All within a month's time, mainly, I found out my grandpa had cancer, my aunt had cancer badly in her lungs, my mom was an utter complete bitch who doesn't care about anyone by herself (hasn't talked to me in over 6 months), and that my dad will need a hip replacement in the next year, so there goes all our money.

Take it easy. It will eventually get better. I swear. I agree with Sic; maybe you should try to reapply to some schools in Virginia.

Wish I could be more help, bro.