A Good Friend

[Sol*]

Hey everyone, it's been awhile.

I recently started college, (American post highschool.) , and I'm meeting alot of new people. I started hanging out with this girl who I was interested in. It seemed like she liked me too, and we hung out alot. It was so easy when you live 30 seconds apart. In the first three days we were together for easily 17 hours or more. 11 a.m. till past midnight on a saturday with a football game and going different places. We got along really well and we used to live in the same state before college, just different towns.
At one point my brother pointed out a shirt she was wearing about being a certain armed force girlfriend. The print was kind of small and I wasn't going to read her chest while I was talking to her so I didn't notice. I added her on facebook just to find out and yes, she has a boyfriend. Through a few inferrences and some stuff she said I gleaned he's in boot camp somewhere. (It's 1500 or more miles from here.) She has talked about him (only in references about past experiences etc.)

It's been a few weeks and we still hang out alot. More than I've ever really hung out with any one girl. I haven't been very sucessful at keeping relationships in the past. It's kind of a weird situation. She said at dinner tonight I'm the only person she texts down here, and we do almost everything together. But she has a boyfriend. I really like her and enjoy spending time with her, but I feel like I'm playing the role of boyfriend: except we're not dating. I'm careful not to seem like I'm hitting on her or be too flirty. I help her with homework and drive her to Walmart when she needs stuff.

I just feel torn on what to do. I really like her and we're always talking, but I do naturally want the type of companionship a relationship has. I would love to date her, but it doesn't seem like that could happen for awhile. It's also awkward becuase my friends give me crap about her. I know and she knows and no one says anything. There's other girls who I could pursue, but I don't know how she would react. She spends most of her time around me and my friends, and it would be kind of awkward if I all of a sudden started dating someone. I also don't want to say anything about breaking up with her boyfriend, and I pity him for how that would feel while at boot camp.

Anyone got some advice on what to do?

[loganjlr]

I would say just stay her friend for the time being. It would be a whole mess, period. I'm sure you can craft some general images from what could happen.

[Angel Down]

Stealing some guy's girl while he's at boot camp busting his ass?

Sounds pretty low. Don't do it.

[Karxili'boq]

Stealing some guy's girl while he's at boot camp busting his ass?

Sounds pretty low. Don't do it.

Read the whole post and you shall be enlightened.

Back to the topic, I would stay as her friend for now, although try to avoid becoming the stand-in boyfriend by not acting like one. It might be hard, but try to surpress your feelings when you're around her. Like you said, you don't want to steal her away, but it'll be hard, especially since her boyfriend is miles away in a boot camp; just try to resist the urge to make moves.

Chances are that she's just after a friend, unless she makes suggestions and starts moving in, i'd stick with the 'just friends' thought. If she does make advances on you (I mean big advances, not piddly little ones that could mean anything) then it's a sign that she wants something more, but don't leap in dick-first unless you have proof that she's split with the other guy (solid proof, don't take words for it).

[Angel Down]

Read the whole post and you shall be enlightened.

I did. He likes her, and she has a boyfriend at boot camp. Thus, my response.

[Sol*]

Yeah I'm not going to try to steal her. She would have to make a move, a major move like (I'm sorry I'm relpying so I can't see your name) said. I just don't want her to feel too lonely if I do get a girlfriend.