Cousin is Gay

[Eltacosbello]

Okay, so I went camping a while back. My whole family was out there... me and my cousin shared a tent and in the midddle of the night he got out of the tent and went outside. I peaked out of the tiny window and saw some guy having his hands on the back of my cousins head, and my cousin on his knees... speaks for itself. So like two days later me and him had time to chat, he is one of few people that knows I'm gay. So I kinda coaxed him into a romantic/sexual revealing conversation and he came out to me. He is 14 years old. So, I gave him the, well, gay version of the sex talk. Condoms, romance, we talked about nerely everything... I'm kinda worried because at 16 I've had/have 2 sexual partners, he has had 7! I really don't know what to do... I'm scared for him because he's my cousin and a pretty good friend, but it seems wrong to simply deny him chance to expirment and have some fun.

Any suggestions on how to handle this???

(I know someones going to ask this... and no I didn't continue to watch.)

[Tabula Rasa]

To be perfectly honest, this isn't exactly your business. Let him make his own choices. If he screws up, and something bad happens be there for him. But other than that... stay out of it.

[Malevolent]

7 sexual partners by the age of 14 is far beyond mere experimenting, it's borderline whoring and conduct disorder.

If he wants to be dead before he's 30 because of HIV/AIDs, let him do that. It's his life, let him live it however he pleases.

[Brad!]

I wouldn't get too involved, because as stated.. it's not exactly your business.

[Eltacosbello]

7 sexual partners by the age of 14 is far beyond mere experimenting, it's borderline whoring and conduct disorder.

If he wants to be dead before he's 30 because of HIV/AIDs, let him do that. It's his life, let him live it however he pleases.

We talk to each other about everything, especially since he came out to me. I'm not going to do anything to stop him from doing it, but is it alright to talk to him about being in a relationship before having sex?

[Eltacosbello]

I'm pretty much worried and need to vent, ugh...

[Tabula Rasa]

You can give him your opinion, but don't force him into anything. Berating him won't solve his problems.

[Braxton]

I think that is nice that you at least talked with your cousin about being responsible, and my thinking is that you probably have to explain to him that everytime you shared your body it was with someone for whom you cared and not just for the feelings. I would tell him that while there is nothing wrong with sex he still has an obligation to himself and others not to go from person to person. You might want to explain to him what responsible sexuality entails and how best to ascertain whether it is the right time to share his body.

While I am not saying you should scare him you should also make it clear to him the risks. Again, because you both are close and since you are gay yourself you can best advise him assuming his parents are not all right with his being gay or if he doesn't have any other resources. By default you might be the only person in whom he can confide.

I don't know if this would help you at all, but AMG wrote a very good article in the Content Forums about sexual activity, and I would suggest you read through it to think of ways you could voice your concerns to your cousin without being overbearing: http://forums.govteen.com/showthread.php?t=270995

It is good that you care, and I think that if you can guide your cousin to be responsible, then you will certainly help him over the long run. After all, it would be terrible if his parents found out about what he is doing or if he contracted some STD and had to talk to his parents especially if he is not "out" to them or your family in general.

[hehe]

Moving to Teen to Teen Advice

Let your cousin know about the risks of STDs from having so many sex partners. Certain STDs, such as HIV, are more likely to infect gay men who have sex with several partners. Encourage him to embrace his sexual orientation while, at the same time, making smart sexual choices. That means using condoms, limiting the number of sexual partners, etc. Also, just let him know that you're there for him.

[Malevolent]

We talk to each other about everything, especially since he came out to me. I'm not going to do anything to stop him from doing it, but is it alright to talk to him about being in a relationship before having sex?

Talk to him about it, inform him about the risks, but don't interfere with what he does too much. Explain to him what HIV is, how painful dying from AIDs is, and how incurable it is and will be in his lifetime.

[bobbyredsnow]

7 sexual partners by the age of 14 is far beyond mere experimenting, it's borderline whoring and conduct disorder.

If he wants to be dead before he's 30 because of HIV/AIDs, let him do that. It's his life, let him live it however he pleases.

wow, and you're saying he should stay out of it??!!!!!! It's his cousin!

[Malevolent]

wow, and you're saying he should stay out of it??!!!!!! It's his cousin!

What can I say, I was raised by a caring father who let me learn from my own mistakes. If I did something stupid like skip school he shrugged it off and let me learn the hard way. Now I'm a smarter and well rounded individual because of that. I'm a believer of letting people learn from their own mistakes. Fucking up big time is a better lesson than somebody talking to you that will never be forgotten.

[bobbyredsnow]

even if his cousin ends up dead? or sick?

[Malevolent]

even if his cousin ends up dead? or sick?

I stated that the OP should talk to his cousin but not interfere. If even after talking to his cousin he continues his destructive behavior, let him learn the hard way.

[far_side]

I stated that the OP should talk to his cousin but not interfere. If even after talking to his cousin he continues his destructive behavior, let him learn the hard way.

There is something of a difference between what you have done (skipping school), and what the OP's cousin is doing (being somewhat promiscuous).

Skipping school won't get you killed, what his cousin is doing might.