fear

[another]

for the life of me i can not figure out why i am so afraid of getting to know people and becoming closer friends with them. Whenever something good happens to me i take steps to drive it or them away. this isnt even just my thoughts,well they are mine also but my best friend has told me this. Im just completely closed off when it comes to relationships. My best friend who i had a crush on in high school (whom i dont know if i can call that) i didnt talk to much but she was the only person who would treat me normal and talk to me. she made it clear we are friends and all but im still afraid to talk to her when shes on FB or something.

So now in college i just still the same way. I went to the movies with my roommate and a fw of his friends and this girl who i guess is into me... which i find odd since we have only met one other time... but during the movie she put her arm around mine and i just freaked out in my mind ..i didn't do anything just stayed cool but i don't get why when someone may actually may like me ( though i have doubts... maybe cause of my general mistrust of people or that i think its impossible for anyone to like me but ..)

i know its long and prob doesnt make sense cause tis 3 at night but any shred of insight or advice would help

[LumberJak]

Im similar to you because i cant get close to people either. It sounds like you have a low self esteem as you said you dont know why that girl put her arm around you at the cinema.

I once had a good friend who i felt close to but because of my low self esteem i thought to myself why would he want to be friends with someone like me and now we hardly talk to each other.

My advice is to improve your self esteem and make your self think that theres nothing wrong with you since there cant be as that girl obviously like you. Its all in your head just change your way of thinking.

[Sole]

It's called "FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN"

There is a reason your brain is doing this to you. It's a protection mechanism. It thinks "Shit, wtf is this? panic, stall"

Some people have that gene that makes them want to push through their comfort zones often (think adrenaline junkies).

What you've got to do it start TAKING STEPS outside your comfort zone. Because guess what, once you take that first step, it NO LONGER becomes as difficult as it once was.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

I recommend you activly take 1 step outside your comfort zone. Say, arranging a date with this girl, OR just phoning her, whatever would be something you'd be uncomfortable with.

Because you get the 100% SOLE GUARANTEE.

When you take that step, whatever happens, you are in a better place than if you DIDN'T do it.

[Teddy]

You have to try harder to meeting new people i mean, think about it like this. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering-Yoda.
So unless you want to start suffering ON AN EPIC LEVEL THEN YOU GOTTA TALK TO HER. I mean you know her so just say hi ya dig? Do not assume she will think it is awkward, assume the good, that she will be happy to talk to you. Because she will be.

[Shreyas]

its not impossible for anyone to like someone. She likes you thats good, don't think too much like why she likes you and all. Go out with her, call her. Don't Panic as much as possible.

[Malevolent]

Fear is a reaction, courage is a choice. If you chose to be courageous, you'll be courageous.