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  1. #1906
    Dark Lord Moderator Jigajig's Avatar
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    Default Re: Destiny's Journal - This Thing I Call A Life

    I'm sorry I did not see this earlier. Been off Gov for abit now :c All I can say is you HAVE to do what it right for YOU. I know it's going to be hard to break up with him but if that is what needs to be done then it needs to be done. You certainly deserve better if he's trying to guilt trip and manipulate you into feeling bad. That is not OK..
    22!!!!/BI/Male/6ft
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  2. #1907
    Le Fabulous Member Etcetera's Avatar
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    Default Re: Destiny's Journal - This Thing I Call A Life

    Day 353

    Moving on Tuesday.

    Just got out of hospital today, was there since Wednesday. Was having tons of seizures back to back and EMS took me to hospital, then I was transferred to another hospital. Doing much better now.


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    - Journal

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________
    " I've got pain, I've got scars that I'll never show. So ashamed, so confused .. I was broken and bruised
    BUT NOW I'M A SURVIVOR. I'M A WARRIOR.
    And I'm stronger than I've ever been. "

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  3. #1908
    Le Fabulous Member Etcetera's Avatar
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    Default Re: Destiny's Journal - This Thing I Call A Life

    Day 600 of no cutting - Feb 12, 2017

    Well, well, well !! I guess I'm "back" ?

    Haha. I had no idea GT was still up and running, honestly. And really I have no idea why I decided to check it out tonight .. but I guess I did, huh? I've missed you guys. My life has changed a WHOLE FREAKING LOT. So, I'm gonna update ya on my life. Hope you guys are doing well !! Feel free to message me, as I'm gonna try my best to stay active again, of course I'm not sure how well that will work out, but trying is all I can do.

    Well, let's see. This is what's going on in "THIS THING I CALL A LIFE":

    1) My boyfriend died unexpectedly. So yeah, I'm trying to deal with that. And it's really, really super rough on me .. let me tell ya that. On the 16th of February it will be 6 months.

    2) My seizures have been absolutely way beyond out of control and absolutely crazy. I've almost died multiple times recently. They've been having to call EMS / 911 for me several times a week, sometimes days in a row for either a) seizures that wouldn't stop, b) I stopped breathing, or c) seizures back to back. Actually, a few days ago they called EMS twice in one day and I went to the hospital twice in one day. Kinda sucked. Sucked a lot, really. Several times EMS has had to give me Versed up the nose to stop seizures because I was still seizing / not breathing when they arrived. (Versed is like a super strong sedative that they use for seizures but rarely, and only for seizure patients that they think may not make it to the hospital alive without being given meds to stop the seizure.) Been put on life-support / ventilator twice in the past month. So yeah ... it's been super freaking rough. Just got out of the hospital couple days ago actually after being in there for several days so they could try to figure out what the heck was going on with me. They messed with my meds, changed them around, and told me that I have not 1 seizure disorder but 2. Lovely, huh?

    3) I’ve been homeless yet again, thrown out and stuff .. was taken in by a lady who turned out to be nuts. She’s a prostitute, diagnosed MR (mentally retarded), a registered sex offender for past child molestation a long time ago, spent 7 years ago. But I guess I should just be thankful I’ve got a home now and not sleeping on a sidewalk anymore. It’s just scary cus a lot of the guys who come in for sex are either drunk or high or both. And the rooms in the house (including the bathroom) don’t have doors. So there’s been many times that I’ve been sitting in my room with a knife ready to defend myself. Thing is, I can’t get government assisted housing because I can’t live by myself with me having all these seizures like I am, and I have to be monitored.

    There's other junk .. but this is pretty much it. But yeah, please message me, my old pals if you're still on here !! I miss you guys !!



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    - Journal

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________
    " I've got pain, I've got scars that I'll never show. So ashamed, so confused .. I was broken and bruised
    BUT NOW I'M A SURVIVOR. I'M A WARRIOR.
    And I'm stronger than I've ever been. "

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    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________

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  4. #1909
    Lonely and secluded Member Quiet_Dude's Avatar
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    Default Re: Destiny's Journal - This Thing I Call A Life

    Well it's good to see that you've continued to stay clean. 600 days is a long time. I'm proud of you
    It sucks to hear all the other stuff though. I thought the seizures were under control? And jeez, that's a crap home. But like you said, but least you have a home and you aren't on the street.
    This place has changed. As you can tell, it's very quiet. I came back recently, lonely and in a funk, only to find it dead. Very few people are left and they're even saying that the webmaster isn't gonna renew when the domain expires in March. So that's bye bye to GT. Man, it's crazy seeing this. Still remember when we all migrated in 14 from VT. Damn.

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    Originally Posted by Etcetera
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    I urge you, please think about the words you say or type to someone. Because they can either be used to save someone's life or take someone's life, choose them carefully. And don't judge someone if you have no clue what their situation is.
    "Depression is one of the most treatable mental disorders there is" -a lecture in health class on depression. There is hope

  5. #1910
    Le Fabulous Member Etcetera's Avatar
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    Default Re: Destiny's Journal - This Thing I Call A Life

    Day 604 no cutting

    It's been a super rough day today. Not to mention crazy busy.

    Today makes 6 months since my boyfriend died and I'm in pieces. It really doesn't feel like it could possibly have been that long. It seems like just yesterday when I got that unexpected call. They called me 1st because I was his emergency contact and when I got that call I fell to the floor crying my eyes out. I can still feel those horrible painful and distraught feelings .. It just, I feel really broken today. I just wish I could have gotten one last hug. God, I miss that boy so freaking much. His birthday is coming up soon, and that's gonna be rough for me too.

    You know, in the past while I've been asked out by 2 guys and I just couldn't .. I couldn't .. I broke down and couldn't handle it. I think it's gonna take me a long time to get to the point where I can even to begin to move on enough to be able to be with someone else.

    This is us:

    Last edited by Etcetera; Feb-16-2017 at 05:30 PM.


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    - Journal

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________
    " I've got pain, I've got scars that I'll never show. So ashamed, so confused .. I was broken and bruised
    BUT NOW I'M A SURVIVOR. I'M A WARRIOR.
    And I'm stronger than I've ever been. "

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    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________

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