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  1. #1
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    Default Trouble Holding and Erection


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    Hello, im new here. Thanks for taking the time to read this because this has almost caused my longest relationship to end.

    Whenever i have sex with here, and I start to get faster and harder, my member starts to get a little flacide, i then become self concious and it then gets even more flacid, things then slow down and i end up becoming very depressed and my partner self concious that shes not satisfying me. I get so nervous now whenever im alone with her and she weants to have sex because im afraid its going to happen again and we will fight again.

    Is there any methods that you can suggest that would calm me down and have me hold my erection longer.

    Thanks in advance for your responses and suggestions


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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Trouble Holding and Erection

    I've had that problem with one of my partners. It's a cruel cycle (flaccid, self conscious, more flaccid, and repeat). I think it's normal; when you feel yourself becoming flaccid try to do stuff that you know is arousing for you. Also, if you start to become flaccid while you're in her, you can pull out, and use your hand to get your "member" excited again, while keeping her occupied with the other hand. And keep touching her and have her touch you during sex, because sex is more than just about the penis in the vagina, it's the whole body-sensation. Or you could change things up if it begins to get flaccid and maybe she can try giving you oral stimulation (blowjob) to get it harder.

    The best thing is, obviously, to not get self conscious. If things get flaccid, do the things that you know will turn you on, and keep on truckin'

  3. #3
    Jacques Lacan is offline
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    Default Re: Trouble Holding and Erection

    My best advice to you is to relax and stop viewing it as a problem; you also need to communicate any issues you are having with your partner because, to add to the previous guy, it's not only a vicious circle for you but it's one for her/him too. They're going to feel like they're feeling, whereas 9/10 this problem is a psychological or physiological one on your end, rather than an unattractiveness or something at their end.

    How long have you been having this problem? Do you drink? How is your diet? Do you exercise? I mean, there are a load of things that can cause erectile dysfunction. Have you had this issue before with other partners, and very importantly, are you able to masturbate?

    If you're engaging in a lot of foreplay, try a bit less, because that will decrease the amount of time you need to sustain an erection. If you're hardly doing any foreplay, do a bit more, because then you'll be more aroused. You'll also have to accept that almost all teenagers go through this at some point: nerves and low hormonal levels = no erection. It's perfectly understandable.

    You need to try and relax and calm down before you engage in sex. Hotheadedness isn't going to help your problem .

    It's incredibly unlikely you have erectile dysfunction, as it's incredibly rare in people your age. Any reason you'd have reduced blood flow? (An underlying condition, or years of smoking). Any medications? Any underlying problems?

    If you're concerned that you can't sustain an erection ever and haven't been able to for quite a while, go to the doctor. Aside from that, communicate and relax, it's all you can do. In time you will get over the nerves etc.
    My god! Is this pure ideology? That. Is. Bananas​.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Trouble Holding and Erection

    Quote Originally Posted by Lawl View Post
    My best advice to you is to relax and stop viewing it as a problem; you also need to communicate any issues you are having with your partner because, to add to the previous guy, it's not only a vicious circle for you but it's one for her/him too. They're going to feel like they're feeling, whereas 9/10 this problem is a psychological or physiological one on your end, rather than an unattractiveness or something at their end.

    How long have you been having this problem? Do you drink? How is your diet? Do you exercise? I mean, there are a load of things that can cause erectile dysfunction. Have you had this issue before with other partners, and very importantly, are you able to masturbate?

    If you're engaging in a lot of foreplay, try a bit less, because that will decrease the amount of time you need to sustain an erection. If you're hardly doing any foreplay, do a bit more, because then you'll be more aroused. You'll also have to accept that almost all teenagers go through this at some point: nerves and low hormonal levels = no erection. It's perfectly understandable.

    You need to try and relax and calm down before you engage in sex. Hotheadedness isn't going to help your problem .

    It's incredibly unlikely you have erectile dysfunction, as it's incredibly rare in people your age. Any reason you'd have reduced blood flow? (An underlying condition, or years of smoking). Any medications? Any underlying problems?

    If you're concerned that you can't sustain an erection ever and haven't been able to for quite a while, go to the doctor. Aside from that, communicate and relax, it's all you can do. In time you will get over the nerves etc.
    Great post Jack!

    This really helped me relax a bit. I shall answer all the questions you have asked.


    Q:
    How long have you been having this problem?

    A:
    For about 2-3 weeks

    Q:
    Do you drink?

    A:
    No.

    Q:
    How is your diet?

    A:
    Recently I have been falling out of my regular diet plan and have been resorting to junk food, i think this has to do with the stress? I'm a pretty chubby guy but my partner and I have started to do excercise because shes also a little chubby.

    Q:
    Are you able to masterbait?

    A:
    Yes. usually it takes longer for me to get erect when i think of the sotuation im in.

    Q:
    Any other problems/ low blood/ etc?

    A:
    Not that i can see. I'm going to the doctors today for a checkup, i'll tell him my situation a relay it back to this thread

  5. #5
    Jacques Lacan is offline
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    Default Re: Trouble Holding and Erection

    Quote Originally Posted by GhostxNote View Post
    Q:
    How long have you been having this problem?

    A:
    For about 2-3 weeks
    This may just be a very unfortunate lull in your hormonal levels, or may be attributable to high levels of stress, a change in environment, trepidation over having sex with someone new etc. I'm glad it's not been going on for too long.

    Quote Originally Posted by GhostxNote View Post
    Q:
    Do you drink?

    A:
    No.
    Yay! That rules that out.

    Quote Originally Posted by GhostxNote View Post
    Q:
    How is your diet?

    A:
    Recently I have been falling out of my regular diet plan and have been resorting to junk food, i think this has to do with the stress? I'm a pretty chubby guy but my partner and I have started to do excercise because shes also a little chubby.
    Whilst this is unlikely the cause of your problem, it's probably not helping. Your penis is just another body part, and often poor diet can help explain lots of our ills. Perfectly understandable that this would happen when you're stressed; however, I recommend that you, instead of turning to food, turn to exercise. There are some simple plans out there to help you regain your muscle and fitness levels - even something simple like swimming will have not only short-term, but long-term, benefits too. Getting in shape, people in bikinis, health benefits. That's win fucking win-win if you ask me .

    It's good that you've got a good relationship with your partner, that will make all of this (an obviously troubling time!) all the more manageable. Good luck with your exercising enterprise.

    Quote Originally Posted by GhostxNote View Post
    Q:
    Are you able to masterbait?

    A:
    Yes. usually it takes longer for me to get erect when i think of the sotuation im in.
    Well then you've hit the nail on the head, haven't you? It's a case of distracting the mind and going with the moment; as opposed to lingering on the situation and what's happening, and thus ruining it. Even those people whose erections can break walls down sometimes suffer from a little floppiness when they think too long on the situation. Perhaps suggest watching pornography with your partner as a precursor to sex - it can be both intimate and arousing for both of you.

    Quote Originally Posted by GhostxNote View Post
    Q:
    Any other problems/ low blood/ etc?

    A:
    Not that i can see. I'm going to the doctors today for a checkup, i'll tell him my situation a relay it back to this thread
    Good idea. There are a couple of things that could be causing your problem (though I suspect it's a mental, not physical issue) and the doctor will be able to isolate or identify the possible problems. Let us know how it goes, but obviously, if that then involves a diagnosis, no one here is qualified for that!

    Good luck!
    My god! Is this pure ideology? That. Is. Bananas​.

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