Willy Wonka Gets Married
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When I was a senior, my english class had to write a short story for elementary school kids and this is what I came up with.
Do you know the cupcake man? That's right, the cupcake man. Some of you probably have no clue as to who he is. He was the horrendus monster that lived in a small town known as Candy Land. Let's just start from the beginning shall we?
It was a beautiful spring morning in a small town called Candy Land, just east of Hershey Pennsylvania. Willy Wonka was running around trying to find his tuxedo for his wedding that was to be taken place later that afternoon. He was going to marry Little Debbie and he wanted to make sure everything was perfect for her.
After Willy found his tux he went to check on the decorations. Everything was indeed perfect. The gum drop chandeliers were neatly polished, the chocolate swan center piece was being carved to perfection and the oompa loompas were running about collecting sugar plums for the guests to feast upon after the wedding. Things were going the way they were supposed to. It was meant to be a perfect day. That is until there was a terrible disruption.
Out of no where a herd of peeps came splashing through the moo juice river. (for those of you that don't get it, moo juice = milk) The peeps were peeping uncontrollably like something had went terribly wrong. Of course no one could understand what was going on because all they could hear was "peepity peep pee" over and over. But still, the peeps could not be ignored. Willy Wonka became very worried.
He noticed where the peeps were coming from so he started to walk in that direction and he approached Sugar Hill. He walked very slowly and peeked over the hill. All he could see was a cherry stem bobbing back and forth. When he took a bigger look he saw the ugliest yet most delicious creature he had ever seen. It was a giant cupcake man with legs and arms. It had vanilla frosting with rainbow sprinkles covering his fudge like body. His eyes were black like licorice flavored jelly beans, and his teeth were green and sharp like green apple jolly ranchers after they had been sucked to a point. The hat he wore was a giant cherry that looked to be rotten. This creature was indeed scary looking.
As Willy admired the cupcake man he noticed he had something in his hand. It was a shock blaster! The evil cupcake man was shooting out shocktarts at the small peep children and making them do crazy things like listen to opera music! Something had to be done.
Willy went running back to the village and collected some weapons. He told the oompa loompas to hold off on the wedding and go with him. Then he went to his gingerbread house to tell Little Debbie what was going on. She got relly worried and insisted on helping him. Willy didn't argue because he knew women always won arguments anyway. So, then they were off to fight.
Halfway back to Sugar Hill they were mey by none other than the cupcake man himself. Willy tried being nice and telling him to go back to Kerns Bakery where he belonged, but cupcake man said "no" and shot an oompa loompa witht the shock blaster and the oompa loompas started singing opera music at the top of his lungs. Things were getting worse.
Little Debbie became furious. She wanted classical music for her wedding, not opera. So then she grabbed Willy's twinkie gun out of his pocket and shot out the cream filling which blinded the cupcake man. This made it easier to fight.
As the cupcake man stumbled around blinded by the cream filling, Willy then pulled out his Whatchamacallit and stabbed him in the toe until it fell off. The cupcake man became so weak he couldn't move. He just fell right over. The oompa loompas then attacked and started licking off all of his frosting and begin eating his fudge like body. Cupcake Man had been defeated. All that was left was his big toe.
After the war was over things were back to being perfect. The peeps no longer sang opera music and Willy Wonka and Little Debbie were the heroes of Candy Land. They even got their perfect wedding and the last time I heard, they had two beautifull children named Goober and Raisinette. They all lived happily ever after.
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