Girl i know meeting a stranger

[Arrexu]

I posted a while back about a family friend who was in trouble, and that i was one of her most trusted friends.

Well today she told me that next month she's meeting a guy.

The skinny is;

She's 14, and "well developed"
He's turning 16 very soon, i saw a picture of him and he's tall and very muscular
She is taking a friend with her when they meet, but the friend is also only a 14 year old girl
They arent meeting at his house, they are meeting (apparently) at a large town halfway
They are going to meet him by train
She knows this guy is who he says he is, as she has seen him on webcam. They email and text regularly and apparently none of them have shown any signs of sexual interest.Now im in an awkward position, because she's told me this and ive promised not to tell her parents. Her parents would hit the fucking roof if they found out. I did try and pursuade her to tell her parents and be honest with them instead of going behind their back (in the hope they'd be pleased about her maturity) but she said no.

I gave her a huge talk, including (sorry i love bullet points lol)

If he asks her to do something which she feels even slightly hesitant about, she should not do it. If he starts to try and pursuade her to do anything, she needs to stick to her guns and not do it. And to immediately leave if he keeps persisting.
If he kisses her, thats fine. But if he goes beyond kissing, she needs to leave. If he wants to go beyond kissing, it shows he's just wanting sexual pleasure and using her.
Ive worked out that this day is a Saturday, so i'm not at work. Ive given her my mobile number, and told her to call me immediately if anything goes wrong.
Ive also suggested that me and my mate (we're both quite big muscular guys) drive her and her mate down to the meeting point. If this guy see's that this girl has two rather (hopefully) intimidating guys watching over her, he'll be on his best behaviour.
What do you guys think? Is there anything more i can do? If i tell her parents, she will hate me. I dont want that, as we are really close (not in a romantic way... with me being gay and all) and she tells me stuff she doesnt tell anybody else, and i think that its important she has someone who she can trust with anything.

But on the other hand, im really close with her parents too, they're almost like an aunt and uncle, and they would go ape if they found out i'd let their 14 year old girl meet someone in another town.

[Sole]

Alex, I truly hate arranged meet-ups online. It just makes me feel so uneasy and from my perspective, it should not happen.

Here are my rambling thoughts (bullet pointed ;))-
Your advice was a nice touch. Ask yourself this though, "She is to phone me if anything goes wrong. What if she was drugged? Fell unconscious and was raped. OR bundled into the bag of a van with a bag over her head. BOTH HER and her friend. How would I feel?"
Ask yourself - "How would I feel if something bad DID happen to her and you did not tell her parents about what she was doing? How would her parents feel towards me? Is it worth the risk?"
Are you giving her the right advice by telling her what to do on when they meet up? In other words, you are encouraging her actions of meeting strangers from the web...at 14.I don't mean any personal digs at you Alex of course :). I know this girl will have a mind of her own that you may or may not be able to change.

I am merely pointing out that if I were you, the LAST thing I would be doing is encouraging her. Essentially if a 14 year old girl family friend told me about this, I would do everything in my power to convince her and SCARE her out of doing it. It is dangerous.

As for telling/not telling her parents. Tough call. You've made a promise, but is this promise worth keeping? Is indirectly putting this girl's safety on the line worth it?

Sole.

[Ashes]

I'd recommend she takes an adult along with her. I wouldn't think it'd be a good idea for both her and her friend to go and meet this chap by themselves. It's just like an episode of CSI I saw once. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I'd definitely suggest to her that maybe you or someone else should go along with her, Alex. Also, are they sure he is 16? You say he's very muscley, he could be older. How would they know? So yeah, I'd say definitely suggest that they take someone else with them, in case he turns out be older.

[Braxton]

I agree with Sole that sometimes a promise has to be broken for the greater good. You are 20 and are mature unlike a 14 year old who is still coming to terms with her feelings and is dealing with puberty. She doesn't have a whole lot of life experience, and kids that age are pretty naive thinking that everyone in their world is nice and will not hurt them.

My point here is that you must tell her parents about what her plans are. There is no doubt that this girl is going to hate you in the short-run, but as Sole had mentioned, it would be far worse if she was assaulted or murdered by some random stranger. Living with hard feelings from you friend as a result of your trying to protect her is much easier than dealing with the guilt if something should happen to her when you could have done something to stop the chain of events.

Your friend seems somewhat stubborn by not listening to you, especially with your being older. This girl's parents have to be smart about this situation and not outright lock her up as that will only want to make her go out and try to meet this fellow or others online again. Your have to work with her parents so that your friend is protected but is not going to do something like this again.

Perhaps a way for you to let her parents know about the situation without your being directly implicated is to drop them hints. Maybe you can ask them if they have relatives in the big city where your friend is going. If they confused as to why you had asked such a question, then just innocently say that you heard that your friend was going to that city when she was supposed to hang out with you.

Good luck with your friend, and I really hope that you can come up with someway to help her.

['Oseé]

Ultimately, what she does is going to be her decision and I think that morally, you met the minimum simply in advising her that you think this isn't the best idea. You went above and beyond when you gave her your cell number and made sure that you weren't working that day, offered to drive her, etc. All that was very good of you and truly expresses your concern for your friend. Hopefully, when this is said and done, she will not have needed to take advantage of any of those things.

Do you feel that she is in any eminent danger? If you do, then of course you would be obligated to tell her parents about what she is planning on doing. If you don't, then you've already done plenty to secure her well-being. I wouldn't worry. :)

[HoldenCommodore]

go spy on the girls and when/if he trys to attack for sex deck him one and be the hero and get the girl
p.s ifs hes bigger then you ride a bike there with a bike chain
catch my drift